February 20, 2010

Learning to say no – Moms Secret Weapon

(Courtesy of Blog Energizer)

Are you suffering from mom burn out? Do you struggle just to make it through each day? Moms everywhere are breaking down because they are too chicken to say, "No".

"No" may be a tiny, two-letter word, but it can be your secret weapon. And you can say it. Here are some ways you can say "no" without feeling guilty about it:

Sorry, I’m taking a break.
The number one reason why you should say, "no" occasionally is simply that you deserve a break. You are chef, chauffeur, dish washer, and more. You job never ends on any given day of the week. You deserve a break. If you feel bad for saying "no", say, "Sorry, I’m taking a break".

My schedule is full.
We tend to jam-pack our schedule full of activities, leaving time for nothing. Cut back on your kids activities. Start a car pool and share driving responsibilities. Do whatever you can to free up some time in your schedule.

I don’t have time.
You’re headed out the door, rushing to the next appointment when the telephone rings. What do you do? Do you come to a screeching halt and answer the phone? Let’s say you do, and it’s a family member, calling to dump their latest woes on you. Do you stand, tapping your foot impatiently while you roll your eyes and listen to the sob story? This is a typical scene for many moms.

I have another commitment that day.
Say it and mean it. Regularly schedule in time with your family or time alone and if someone ask for your help during that time look in your planner and tell them you have another commitment.

Instead of rushing to be everything to everyone, stop. Ask yourself if you truly have time for whatever comes up. If not, say no by walking away, turning off the ringer on the phone, or not answering the knock at your door.

Always remember that you are a mom—not a super hero. When you have to say no, people will understand; if they don’t at first, they will get used to it eventually.

Editor's note: Still having trouble putting your foot down? Sometimes, we just need some extra guidance, a listening ear or a gentle and loving kick in the butt. You might want to give Aurelia Williams's free coaching session (affiliate) a go. She's a life coach and mom of 3 who has adult, teen and school age children so she definitely knows what she's talking about.